All these voices in my head
as I walk through the woods.
Friday, March 7th, 2025.
The sun has finally arrived in my part of the world, and I am excited to go for a walk in my favorite forest. It is 9 am as I park my car right at the start of the trails that lead me into the woods. There are no other cars, which is not unusual, during the week. I grab my camera, let Ben out of the trunk, and off we go.
It has been weeks since I last visited this place, and it feels good to be back. I discovered this forest during Covid when being outdoors was pretty much the only thing we were allowed to do. I have returned countless times and almost covered every trail (at least my hiking app tells me so) in this forest.
There is something special about this place that I can’t quite describe. A large area of the forest is just tall pine trees. The ground is covered with blueberry bushes - although leafless in winter, the evergreen plants are a treat to look at all year round. This almost monotonic appearance is something I find weirdly soothing. The trails -often narrow- are soft and comfortable to walk on. There are a few wider gravel paths, but I usually avoid them. It is the small single tracks that I usually find myself on because they make me feel even more immersed and deepen my experience of being in Nature. I prefer it when I don’t meet other people when being outdoors. These solitary moments allow me to connect with Nature and myself on a deeper level and to express this connection through photography.
On this Friday morning, as I quietly wander the familiar trails, I am having difficulties building that connection. There is something on my mind that I can’t shake off, and that has been occupying my thoughts the past few days.
It is an article that fellow writer and photographer Lin Gregory published the other day. In her essay, Lin raises the question of why there are so few female landscape and woodland photographers in the UK. And while the answer to this question is probably not a simple one, Lin highlighted a very important aspect:
Nature is a place of beauty and adventure, a space where everyone can feel free to explore and enjoy. Yet, for many women, it’s not always that simple. Concerns for personal safety linger – often tied to unsettling encounters, harassment, or the isolating vulnerability of being alone in rural areas. This fear recently hit home for me. On a beautifully foggy morning, the valley outside my window begged me to grab my camera and venture into the mist. Yet, I hesitated. With my partner at work, I didn’t feel safe heading out alone. For some, this hesitation might signal a lack of dedication, but for women like me who’ve had unsettling experiences outdoors, it’s a matter of caution.1
Many female readers shared their experiences and fears of going on walks in Nature alone. Some women described some of the safety precautions they make before they go out:
never walk alone
stay on the main hiking trails
only visit areas with cell phone receiption
stay close to the car
only visit open areas (like the beach)
letting family or friends know where you go and when you plan to be back
carry tear gas or bear-spray
And here I am in the woods, alone, on one of these narrow trails - doing pretty much everything these women try to avoid in order to feel safe outdoors. And I start to question myself: Should I be more afraid? Should I be more concerned about my safety? Do I need to prepare myself better before I go on my solo hikes? And above all:
Am I being too naive?
I have had some encounters in the past that made me feel uneasy, to say the least, but it didn't stop me from going out alone.
Personally, I feel less safe walking around alone in the city or in places that are frequented by many people, like parks and nature reserves that are closer to a city than in the woods in the middle of nowhere.
Do I have concerns when someone follows me for a longer stretch? Have I pretended to talk on the phone with someone or maybe even called someone just to feel safer when a man approaches or follows me? Have I decided to park my car somewhere else when I felt nervous because a guy was sitting in the car next to mine, watching me?
Yes, yes, and yes.
But those moments are rare. And I stoicly refuse that these moments hold me back from what is so important to me:
Going out in Nature, alone and feeling safe.
And I wish all women felt safe enough to do that. But I also understand that they don’t. And this knowledge fills me with sadness and despair.
Diana Pappas left a comment on Lin’s post saying
…think of all the photographs never taken because female photographers are not safe out there. We all lose.
We really do.
I want to invite you to read Lin’s essay and maybe join in on the discussion on this important issue:
P.S.: I hope this goes without saying: this is not a letter about demonising men. The great majority of the men I meet on my walks I don’t see as a threat; neither do I always have the feeling I need to be afraid of them.
That’s all from me this week.
Thank you so much for being here and for taking the time to read this week’s newsletter. It means a lot to me. Feel free to leave a comment - I always love to hear your thoughts.
X,
Susanne
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https://substack.com/home/post/p-158290359
Such dreadful behaviour by my fellow 'man' is something I've only really become aware of in the last few years as I've read about it more and more. Such behaviour wouldn't come within a thousand miles of entering my head, so it never properly occurred previously. So sad that this sort of thing happens. It could almost do with an awareness campaign, something like hanging a number of blank frames on the wall, each with their own title "this could have been a beautiful sunset" , "this could have been autumn colours in the forest" or similar, and the exhibition titled something like "Wonderous landscapes, by women, that will never be...." and an explanation below. I wish I knew the answer.
Thank you, Susanne, for continuing this important conversation and for sharing my post – I hope that many more women and men have a similar reaction and perhaps share their thoughts amongst friends or communities outside of Substack. My hope is that this topic becomes something that is talked about more openly and attitudes can change. Even the smallest of changes can make a huge difference.
Going out to the woods, as spring’s energy stirs amongst the trees, is a healing balm after so many months of cold and rain over winter. It’s a wonderful feeling to feel the stillness and hear the birds around us as well as being a great way to feed our creativity. Your words and beautiful images paint a picture of woods that are just the sort of place I love to wander around and immerse myself in – accompanied of course!
I really admire you for your determination to continue enjoying these walks alone – when I was younger I had far more bravado, but the number of times I’ve been ‘spooked’ has worn me down and I don’t think I could walk mindfully if I’m looking over my shoulder most of the time.
You’re right, Diane Pappas’s comment rings so true, sadly – “we all lose”. I’m hoping that, by opening up and discussing these conversations here, it has given many a bit more courage. The last word goes to Ben – isn’t he handsome!